I told my wife I was going upstairs to “check one thing” on Zora. Three hours later, I had six monitors running, two keyboards, a broadcast console, and a screen large enough to track Mr. Lightspeed from space. She walked in and asked, “Are you trading crypto or launching a missile?” “Neither,” I said. “Someone just bought $14 of Mr. Lightspeed, and I need to determine whether this is the beginning of institutional adoption.” Then the chart jumped 8%. I yelled, “WE HAVE LIFTOFF!” It dropped 11%. I whispered, “Healthy correction.” Someone bought another $6. “Whale accumulation.” Then MikeyRoots sold enough to buy lunch. “Coordinated market manipulation.” By midnight, I had earned $3.47, spent $28 in trading fees, and developed a personal grudge against a wallet named basedchad420. My wife looked at the command center, looked at me, and asked, “Was it worth it?” I opened Zora, pressed Trade, and said: “Ask me after the next candle.”

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